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What your choice of Linux distribution says about you
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Debian
* This distribution is popular with those who always count in binary, and are politically correct in a free software kind of way. Many are suspected of having been nursed on a TTY. Debian users take pride in the fact that their distribution is always several releases behind the latest version of the kernel, but makes up for that by being more difficult to install and use.
Gentoo
* If John Wayne had been a Linux user, he would have used Gentoo. Gentoo users are pioneers, people who like to live close to the metal, and don't mind hurting themselves on sharp objects. Some feel that Gentoo users are simply lazy louts who always want to have a ready excuse for why they are not doing constructive things with their computer, other than compiling or recompiling the latest kernel, app, or hapless passerby. The official Gentoo motto is, "If it moves, compile it."
Red Hat
* Red Hat is not synonymous with Linux, but many of its users believe that it is. Long the king of the Linux street, Red Hat is most popular with middle-of-the-road types who always end up following along with the crowd, even when everyone in the crowd is wearing a silly hat. Red Hat is very strict about the licensing of the apps it includes with the distribution, but doesn't seem to mind abandoning customers who are not large corporations.
SUSE
* If you like beer, horns, or green eggs, you'll like SUSE. The recent acquisition of SUSE by Novell is similar to Vince Lombardi's Green Bay Packers adopting the West Coast offense. SUSE users like a clean, well-lighted desktop, and are far less concerned about where things are kept in the filesystem than they ought to be.
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Slackware: You have an old-school stick up your arse. Doesn’t that chafe?
Debian: You are like Ayn Rand: you insist that everything in your system be internally consistent, at the expense of nobody else being able to understand you.
Red Hat: You want to be Microsoft, except without the jackboots and the viruses. Well … maybe the jackboots.
SuSE: You remember how fascist and self-righteous the Novell administrator for your high school was? Surprise – that’s you!
Knoppix: You’re good at getting Windows users to try Linux. But hey – they’re Windows users.
Mepis: You sound like a child talking about urinating.
Fedora: You eat Nike cheeseburgers and wear McDonald’s sneakers, to show that you are not a corporate whore.
Linspire: You are root. All the time. Isn’t that k3wl? Here, have a virus!
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